Yes, much to the bewilderment of the press, Jay-Z finally asked someone other than Rihanna to get under his umbrella (ella, ella, ey, ey, ey) in what publications the world over are describing as a shotgun wedding.

If it was indeed a shotgun wedding, then the trigger must have been jammed for a long, long, long time. The couple started dating in 2002, making their relationship span, ohhhhh, a good seven(!) years. Savvy wonders, is it entirely accurate to label the wedding of a couple whose entire dating history is longer than several normal celebrity marriages put together as ‘shot gun’? It seems so if you are a celebrity blogger or international newspaper. What other shocking revelations will we have next week? Lindsey Lohan took a shower? (… Actually from the look of her spray tan build-up, that might actually give reason to gasp).

But back to booty.

Australian publication NW hilariously described their union as a ‘hasty wedding ceremony’. It is however quite likely that the event was not seen as hasty to the guests who were actually invited (just a thought) opposed to those writing about it after it finished.

The fact that the media chose to be surprised about the fact they got married, as opposed to the actual details of the event, is perhaps the most surprising thing of all.

“$500,000 worth of white orchids were flown in especially from Thailand for the event,” claimed The Independent, as though half a mill dropped on flowers (yes, flowers) was the most normal thing in the world. Are Thai Orchids facing extinction now, or what? We know they are pretty… but $500,000 dollars worth of pretty?

Also at the wedding was a 170cm-tall wedding cake and free flowing crystal champagne. Impressive, yes. Still, not as impressive as the guest list.

Reportedly a mere 30 people were invited to attend the private ceremony, including only family and ex-members of Destiny’s Child, as well as Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. While to us humble reporters, macrobiotic Gwenny doesn’t seem like the soul food diva’s preferred side order, there is, it seems, no accounting for celebrity tastes.

This said, once Savvy got over the mild surprise that Paltrow actually has friends, we were left with the same problem as we were faced with at the start; Yes, the happy couple solved the seven-year itch with a decision to get hitched, a seemingly unorthodox decision nowadays. Yes, their supposedly impending wedding had been laboriously speculated about for years, so maybe the reason no one really cares is simply because it was about bloody time!

But for your reading pleasure we will digress…

“In December 2006, wedding rumours buzzed that Beyoncé and her long-time boyfriend Jay-Z were finally planning to tie the knot with a lavish wedding on a Caribbean island. Both stars denied the rumours,” reported one celebrity gossip website.

“In April 2008 that couple applied for a marriage license pending a wedding within the month,” reported another. People Magazine later also was quoted to have claimed that the couple had indeed tied the knot in a private ceremony on April 4, 2008 followed by a wedding bash in Jay-Z’s Tribeca apartment in New York.

And, finally: “The 26-year-old Beyoncé and 38-year-old Jay-Z have been dating since 2002, though the couple has rarely discussed their relationship with reporters I doubt they will tell me about the wedding,” wrote another. Very informative, although, much like their decision to wed, it seems to be the logical (and rational solution). Why would they tell you? You, the incredibly random, unreliable, and largely unknown celebrity blogger?


Shock Factor

Savvy rocks the shocking facts floating around the Internet about the Bootylicious Wedding...

They were at the village hall in Scarsdale, New York on April 1st to get a marriage license.

Celebs like Gwyneth Paltrow arrived at Jay Z’s penthouse in Tribeca Friday night (The most shocking part of all).

Her father, mother, and younger sister were all seen arriving (Gee, parents arriving to their child’s wedding, what a surprise!).

A tent was set up on the roof of the building (Again, a marquees at a wedding. Surprise, surprise!).

A pic was taken of what looked like groomsmen on the roof! (Do we even need to say it?)

Boxes containing champagne were delivered (…it’s so over now, we can’t even be bothered to point it out…).

Beyoncé and Jay-Z were both born on the 4th day of the month; their wedding was held on Friday, the 4th day of the 4th month (…someone was clearly not ready on the fourth year!)

They were rumoured to have married in 2005 and also last year.

They’ve been dating since 2002 (Yes, it gives hope to women the world over, and grants countless men a few extra years of freedom).

They’ve never publicly admitted they are dating so we doubt we’ll hear facts from them anytime soon of a wedding (who knows, should we really believe the hype?)


Getting to Know Her, Getting to Know All About… Beyoncé Knowles

Birth name: Beyoncé Giselle Knowles

Known as: B or Beyoncé

Born: September 4, 1981.

Genre: R&B

Best known for: Destiny’s Child, B’day, and now being ‘crazy in love’ with Jay-Z.

Interesting fact: She has won every award possible… except an Oscar.


All images, text and information is sourced from web sites deemed to be in the public domain.